touching things as
maybe the railing still
holds concreteness 
of the moment we hugged
half a day after
the beginning

walking equivalent of
beating my head
with fists
asking why
can't I remember your face
without waiting

if contact could
shatter the gap
deep in my bones, guilt

why did I never write you back and
should I send a letter to a place
you once were

knew your hair would be shorter 
didn't see the ball cap coming
brim too close to your eyes